How to tell if England have scored in the football without watching it. ⚽

Euro 2020 is happening but being played in 2021 (sod you covid mixing all the dates up) and it is well under way. The England team is somewhere in a grid or something like that and they kicked the ball well so that it went in to the other sides net so much that they get to play even more matches with other people who also kicked a ball well, if it’s not clear by now I’m not much in to football all I know is they won and they are doing “OK” because they won another match.

I have been trying to avoid watching it out of boredom for sheer lack of anything else to do and desperately trying not to sink to the level of becoming one of the lads drinking in a covid safe pub. I choose rather to sit at home and ignoring it all while watching some pointless videos on YouTube to pass the time while I come up with something to less mundane do to with my life. I was mildly startled by a loud cheer coming from the surrounding houses where I live.

At first I had no idea what all the commotion was and only due to my lack of anything else to do I thought an investigation was needed. Had the police just arrested somebody and an enraged (or joyous) family members come out to “help” or had somebody fallen over to be followed by a chorus of “wahayyy” that was until I remembered I was not in a pub or back at school again where such things would happen. I walked over to the window which I thought the sound entered my dwelling from, fiddled with the blinds trying not to be that one guy curtain twitching in the neighbourhood who has to know every little thing that happens outside their house which is so totally obvious they might as well just open the bloody window and get it over with, I digress, I didn’t see anything so I dragged myself back to my dreary existence as before on to hear another overexcited cheer!

That’s when I remembered that football was on, an explanation oh how fun my life has become … I managed to count four separate excitement increases in volume in my surrounding environment that evening so that means four goals to which my ears did not deceive me, I was right when I checked the news that evening only to be blasted with the number every five minutes!

So the take away from this is if you want to have a tiniest bit of national pride but can’t be bothered to watch a full game of football, just open the window and keep an ear out. Yeah life hack!


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