Why are there still mince pies here!

Finally, the festive period is finally over and we can all return to a sense of normality without having that fat man dressed in red who has a thing for breaking in to houses via the least effective method possible printed on absolutely everything we buy this time of year.

But wait what is that hanging out in the back of the cupboard hanging out with that pot of yeast you were so going to make break with a year or two ago. Hang on a second that is bloody full-unopened box of mince pies!

I had a quieter Christmas this year because if for some reason you are not aware there is still a pandemic floating around with a new variant to share for all! For some reason, which I still cannot understand, I managed to buy enough food to feed double whom we are hosting on the big day. It seems what this was especially the case with those little pastry covered delights. In a lack of judgment, I have managed to collect way too many packets while totally forgetting that my guests are not all that fussed about mince pies and would rather just snack on a sliver of chocolate yule log and pass on the pies, again not helped as before the desert was offered we all had to eat double portions of turkey as I bought one that feeds more than there are people…

Ultimately, the mince pies where left at the back of the cupboard while the small New Year’s party food pushed them deeper back just out of sight. Forgotten and left in the past, others might say that the back of your cupboard resembles the permafrost not unlike somewhere a woolly mammoth might be uncovered in centuries to come. Like finding a mammoth, it was a shock to find two pristine unopened boxes while looking for the spices only to release that I would have to eat them, never let food go to waste after all… Oh hello waistline expanding…

Returning to work after the Christmas break it would appear that I was not the only person to be in this situation. Right next to the office kettle was one of the office plates stacked up with a collection of different mince pies next to a crudely written note “help yourself”. I am all for free food but we all know nobody really likes mince pies and we only have one or two at Christmas because it is the festive thing to do, so it was no surprise that it did take a good week for then to finally vanish from the table. Much talk amongst my colleagues happened as to whom the phantom pie fly-tipper was. It was no hand writing we had seen before and nobody witnessed anybody drop off the pies. We concluded that it must have been somebody’s partner who wrote the note to throw us all of the trail, but everybody agreed that somebody must have come in early in the morning and dropped off two boxes worth of pies before anybody came in. Oddly this is the exact amount which I found hidden away at home and I do like to get to work early so I never have to wait in the line for the kettle. I guess we will never know who left them; somethings will always be a mystery…